Read the Rudy today, oh boy

If anything, Kaplan was too nice. The article, for those of you interested in reading this piece of shit, is here.

Seriously, Kaplan gives Rudy a BIG pass on some things. Here's one:

America is a nation that loves peace and hates war.

As opposed to whom? Where are the war-loving nations out there? And, for a nation that loves peace, we sure to get ourselves into a whole lot of war. And, just to be clear, I'm not anti-war, but to say that we are a nation that goes around singing "Kumbaya" all day and night is delusional. And it's particularly jarring when Rudy says it because he spends the rest of your essay describing the ass kickings he will dole out as president. But that isn't even the worst sentence in that paragraph:

At the core of all Americans is the belief that all human beings have certain inalienable rights that proceed from God but must be protected by the state.

Which is a curious thing for him to say because I really don't recall him coming out against our policy of sending people down a rathole to be tortured simply because we think they are one of the "bad guys". Oh, and by the way, I am an American and I don't happen to believe that the rights afforded to me in this country (those remaining rights anyway) proceeded from God. But hey, know what? THAT isn't even the worst sentence in that paragraph. This is:

Americans believe that to the extent that nations recognize these rights within their own laws and customs, peace with them is achievable. To the extent that they do not, violence and disorder are much more likely.

If I'm reading this correctly, and I've read it a number of times just to make sure I am, he's saying that we are going to not be at peace (although peace and America are BFF) with any country that does not respect the same inalienable God-given rights that we do. He has just declared that any liberal democracy is going to be treated as a hostile entity under a Rudy presidency. Fan-fucking-tastic!

Let's fast-forward to this little gem:

For diplomacy to succeed, the U.S. government must be united. Adversaries naturally exploit divisions.

Great, then I've got an idea, why don't you stop calling Democrats terrorist appeasers who are going to get everyone killed if they get anywhere near the White House. Because remember, unity begins at home (Mr. Third Marriage). I am so sick of the most divisive people on the planet calling on everyone to be united when it suits their purposes only to later cudgel the slobs stupid enough to go for it. Rudy is a hyper-partisan and whenever you hear him talk about unity, he's really talking about suppressing any type of dissent.

More insanity here:

Defeating the terrorists must be our principal priority in the near future, but we do not have the luxury of focusing on it to the exclusion of other goals. World events unfold whether the United States is engaged or not, and when we are not, they often unfold in ways that are against our interests. The art of managing a large enterprise is to multitask, and so U.S. foreign policy must always be multidimensional.

Claptrap! What is he talking about here? Does he really think that we should have a hand in EVERYTHING that's happening? Good luck with that.

Kaplan mentions this, but I'd like to quote it again for shits and giggles:

U.S. relations with China and Russia will remain complex for the foreseeable future. Americans have no wish to return to the tensions of the Cold War or to launch a new one. We must seek common ground without turning a blind eye to our differences with these two countries. Like America, they have a fundamental stake in the health of the international system. But too often, their governments act shortsightedly, undermining their long-term interest in international norms for the sake of near-term gains. Even as we work with these countries on economic and security issues, the U.S. government should not be silent about their unhelpful behavior or human rights abuses. Washington should also make clear that only if China and Russia move toward democracy, civil liberties, and an open and uncorrupted economy will they benefit from the vast possibilities available in the world today.

This may be one of the most arrogant and paternalistic things I've ever read from Rudy, and boy that's saying something. THEY act shortsightedly? I've got a 4-letter word for Rudy, I-R-A-Q. Some great long-term thinking there. And, to be blunt, China has been kicking our ass in strategic thinking and the judicious use of soft power lately. Lastly, as Kaplan also points out, China and Russia seem to be doing OK in the world without our help (lead paint aside).

He calls for the invasion of Cuba:

But America should take nothing for granted. It must stand ready to help the Cuban people reclaim their liberty and resist any step that allows a decrepit, corrupt regime from consolidating its power under Raúl Castro. Only a commitment to free people and free markets will bring a prosperous future to Cuba and all of Latin America.

And makes absolutely no sense about the UN:

The UN has proved irrelevant to the resolution of almost every major dispute of the last 50 years. Worse, it has failed to combat terrorism and human rights abuses. It has not lived up to the great hopes that inspired its creation. Too often, it has been weak, indecisive, and outright corrupt. The UN's charter and the speeches of its members' leaders have meant little because its members' deeds have frequently fallen short. International law and institutions exist to serve peoples and nations, but many leaders act as if the reverse were true -- that is, as if institutions, not the ends to be achieved, were the important thing. Despite the UN's flaws, however, the great objectives of humanity would become even more difficult to achieve without mechanisms for international discussion.

Got that? The UN is a worthless piece of shit taking up good real estate on the East Side, but hey, it's a worthless piece of shit working towards the "objectives of humanity". To quote Jon Stewart, "WHAAAA?"

Like I said, Kaplan let's him off the hook too often. But I guess that's my point. Everyone, anyone, could read through this piece of garbage and come up with pages and pages of nonsense without overlapping things that were previously pointed out. It's not just bad, it's breathtakingly bad. It's nauseatingly bad.

One final thought - as bad as it is, I'm also amazed at how little it says. Beyond platitudes and generalizations that is. Kaplan is right on that, Rudy doesn't say how he's going to do anything. Well, that's not entirely true, he is going to "give people a hand up rather than a handout". Hey Rudy, the 80's are calling, they have your hair and would like to trade it for their handout statement.

I really, really don't like Rudy Giuliani.